THE EXPERIENCE!!!

The 4th of December 2009 is most def one of the days I will never forget in my life! Serzly, except I bash my head against some wall and get amnesia, 04/12/09 will be in my heart forever! So I’m gonna break down the day into diff parts:

The morning:
So I woke up that morning to hear my mom and my sister talking bout me (like they always do!) my mom was like, “She is just sooo lazy!” Then my sister goes, “Sheyy. And I told her last night oh buh she dint listen as usual”. “Ah ahn! What’s her problem sef? How could she leave my kitchen like that?” mom asks. Sister shrugs. Then mom says “I know what I’ll do. Imma teach her a good lesson! (I roll my eyes in my mind) She’s not going anywhere today! (Ehn?! Was she joking or sumn?)”.
Obviously I was kinda crushed when I heard my mom say I wasn’t going for the concert anymore cuz I dint administer my chores ‘perfectly’(Abeg don’t blame me, I was tired and sleepy!). I wasn’t totally sad though cuz I heart being alone at home. Plus I was fnkn I cld call up a frnd nd we cld quickly see a movie b4 my mom got bak.

So as I was planning my dae in my head, my sister’s frnd calls ha nd tells ha that if she doesn’t leave soon she’d probly not gt any good seats. Nxt fng, my sister calls my mom nd tells her tha she has to start hittin the road oh…mom is lyk kay, no wahala. Thn my sister’s lyk ‘my name’ nko? That wld she go by herself? Momceez nw lyk okay, I cn go wiv ha.

So we sharply gt showered and dressed thn hit the road.


The Journey:
This part of the story is called ‘penny wise, pound foolish!’ it seems rather funny thinking bout it in retrospect but as at that time, it wasn’t funny at all mayne.
So my sister(shez the 1 callin all the shots here) says we shld wlk down the road to find a cab. According to her, those air conditioned cabs wld waste our time. So we gt to the taxi place thn my sisterz lyk we shld tk the cab to wher the BRT buses take off. You know how therz ths commercial on tv bout how skenzy the BRT buses r? that Kate-henshaw tlks bout hw she’d rather park her car at home nd move around wiv the BRT. So as stupid daft mumu gehs, we( mostly my sister) thnk that cuz the buses r big nd red theyd b lyk those jand buses. (Yeah ryt!)

So the cab takes us to ths place in Jibowu wher the buses tk off. We give the guy N500 bucks thn head across the street to get the bus tickets. The ticket guys tell us that the bus wld tk us to the other side of the road wher we wld tk the bus to TBS, which is wher the concert was. Might I point out that this was the first time we were goin on such an adventure i.e taking buses to places we’re nt ev sure of. On normal daes, evn takin cabs was stress not to nw tlk of buses.
Sha we entered the bus with our tickets. First impression: Hot! Asin I was dripping pools of sweat! Second impression: Confined! I never knew I was claustrophobic till then. Ther wer ppl standing in the aisle so I was pretty cramped. Third impression: too high! I guess I also never knew that I was scared of heights lyk that. I mean, on a normal dae, im not, buh the way errthn looked from up made me shiver a lil.
The most annoying fng bout the bus tho, was the constant stopping. Lyk they stopped at evry freaking brt stop on the way! It was sooo frustrating! In the process ov errthn, we wer in the bus all tha way to mile12! Yup, mile 12! Mile 12 tha they tlk bout in all these razz songs nd movies, mile 12 ive never bin 2 b4, mile 12 tha is in no way related to the TBS we wer goin!
Sha, thankfully, some guy explained to us wat was hapnin (we had to gt to the last stop in that zone b4 we tk another bus to gt to the otha side that those guys at the ticket place at the beginning tld us bout). So we gt out nd gt nu tickets thn joined ths long ass queue (it did move kinda fast sha). It was lyk a movie mehn! We dint know nefn or newher! Jeez, I cn imagine hw we lukd!
Sha we finally gt on the bus that tk us to that other side(afta a whole lotta stops). So when we gt to the other side that we’ve bin talkn bout eva since, we realise that ther was a foot bridge that coulda taken us frm the side the cab dropped us (over an hour ago) to the ‘other side’. We were so bummed. To think that we jus wasted about ninety minutes and ticket money for no reason was vexin!
Sha we gt outta d bus nd took another one str8 to TBS(also wiv alotta stops!)


The waiting:
Dang! The sun was jus raging ydae! Aseen! It was lyk God decided to punish the earth buh wiv sun instead ov rain lyk durin the tym ov Noah. Even with shades on, it was hard to open your eyes without squinting! It was like the only time in my life where holding an umbrella over your head cuz ov the sun in Lagos wasn’t totally razz! Lyk Serzly! I mean, normally the sun isn’t that bad plus we’re all black so its not like we’re preventing skin cancer or sumn. Sha lots of ppl had umbrellas buh we dint sha. My sister’s frnd had gotten ther earlier so she saved us seats. They wer not lyk mad crazy sexy seats buh they were much more better than any we coulda gotten at the tym we came! So for lyk the first hour, we all just talked bout random ish thn we jus kinda sat in silence. There wasn’t reli nefn else to do. Waiting is lyk at the top of my pet peeve list so I seriously almost lost it! Thankfully, God was on my side as always and I managed to keep my cool. After about three and half hours or so, it was lyk 6:30 so they started the final testing of the mic/rehearsal. Ppl were so excited! Err1 cldnt wait for the clock to strike 7!
Unfortunately, the large projector screen that had been showing since afternoon decided to tk a break so we had to chill for about another hour for them to get it fixed.

The show itself!!:
So after they fixed the screen it was some minutes to 8 and the show officially started! the crwd was wilddd!!! Some daft ppl were selling whistles nd those horn fngs that r usually sold at football matches so a lot ov ppl bought them and dint hesitate to use them! I was so irritated! They just kept whistling and whistling and blowing and blowing loudly! Sha some comedian guys kicked off the show. They wer real funny mehn! Aseen I was nt expectin to laugh that hard! I remember ths particular line: “Persn wey say my water no go boil, im own no go hot! Say amen oh!” and “Wat you ‘sow’ is what you wil wear!”. It’ll probly not sound as funny as it did wen he was saen it buh nehow joh!
After the opening comedy, some guy that I dint catch his name came nd sang those Niger Delta kinda songs that u dance wiv handkerchiefs. The crowd was just gerrin crazier by the min! we dint do the whole handkerchief sha buh we sang along loudly wiv the rest ov the crowd nd boogied lyk we hadn’t danced in years! Twas all for JC baby! Naij gospel songs jus have a way ov makin you lose urself in dance. Next was Sammy Okposo. He sang a lot ov popular praise songs nd the crowd ammed wv him mayne! I was so speechless at the way the entire TBS was figuratively on fire! Aseen ppl were standing on their chairs, clapping, whistling, tooting horns, banging tambourines and singing at the to of their lungs for Jesus! It was a totally great feeling I tell ya. Then the fact that we were in the open, looking up into the skies was sooo niiicee! I know ths is probly cheesy buh I felt lyk a greater connection wiv God as we looked up into the skies singing and dancing. Not that on normal daes I don’t connect wiv God during praise and worship songs buh looking into the sky made it so iono…movie-like?? Lol. It felt really good tho.

Next was Lara George. She had a good performance buh i know it wld have been so much bera if she sang ‘Ko le baje’. Lyk reli, y don’t artistes kno the ryt songs to perform at concerts. I’ve seen it happen so many times. Instead ov em to perform only the songs that’ll totally promote their album nd get ppl to madly jam, they’ll jus sing mayb 1 or 2 hits thn 1 random song tha nobody evn knows! Lemme not b a bad-belle sha, her performance was crazzzzayy!

After the whole Naija back-to-back fng, some Jamaican lady was up next. I danced tire mehn! Ah! Evn the songs I dint kno the wordings to, I sang along from the lyrics on the screen. I’m not reli sure who exactly was next buh lemme jus tel u the performances I madly enjoyed: Don moen, Rooftop mc’s( Sady the crowd din rei seem to get them lyk I did),Ron kenoly, Kirk Franklin(Obviously!!!). I dozed off a lot so all the names are kinda lyk a blur ryt nw.

Yh thn ther was the tym I was sooo pissed I cried in silence. My mom was s’posed to cum get us lyk 11, 12 thn all ov a sudden my momz txts my sista nd saes we cn cum in tha morning. I was so effin vexed at the time! I kno I woulda missed the performances that turned out to b my favourites buh all I knew was that wasn’t how we planned t nd I was tired nd sweaty nd wantd a bath!
That was the tym I reli dozed mehn. I guess I was jus too vexed to do nefn else.


I cooled down afta the Rooftop Mc’s tho. I nw wnt 2 go gt water nd food 4 me,my sister,ha frnd nd ha frnd’s frnd. Wen I was goin I dint boot that I wnt b able to carry errthn being tha I only hav 2 hands nd all. Sha it was rei very hard to squeeze thru the multitude ov ppl to gt the stuff. I was almost in tears mehn. Almost! Sha I got wat I cld carry thn headed bak jus 4 1 ov the usher guys to tell me I cnt go bak to my seat. I fnk he thot I was jus comin for tha 1st tym nd all. Asin I almost lost it mehn. To think that I was stranded wiv no fone no money no bag wiv a multitude ov ppl wen I had a seat that I’d been sittin on for over twelve hours! It was very demoralizing! Thankfully, after few minutes ov poutig cutely and my (sexy) pleas, the guy finally let me pass. That wasn’t the end oh! Afta all the drama, I cldnt nw find where we were sittin! Aseen I wantd to jus die! Ppl wer nw starin nd starin at the aimless girl wiv her arms overflowin wiv food nd drinks that can find ha seat. Wen I finally found it, I practically threw their stuff at them nd sank deep into my chair for anotha long sulk/doze!


They wer jus all types ov crazy ppl ther mehn. I rememba 1 guy tha kept screamin “Yes!” afta err word that came out ov neo v the artistes mouths! He was Serzly seeking 4 attention! Thn ther was some otha singy singy due. Tha 1 cld sing diee! Wen Don moen was bout to start he nw started yelling “Wake up! Wake up ppl! Its Don moen1 lyk really, The Don Moen! My mentor!”. I cldnt help buh smile mehn. The Adefarasin guy(the orgainser) wasevn lyk we wer about half a million ppl presnt! No wonder how crazy it was! I stl feel reli proud to b 1 ov d thousands that stayed out all nyt singin and dancing 4 Jesus! Cuz reli I cn imagine wat ppl that don’t bliv in OGd musta bin sayin. They wld probly shake their heads nd call us crazy! Lol. Buh iguess we were, crazy 4 Jesus!

Thn durin Kirk Franklin’s performance, he was lyk ppl shld cum up nd show their Nigerian dancing skills. 1 guy nw went and totally killed it! Ah ahn! Wat dd he not do! Was it alanta? Yahoozey? Errthn! Kirk Franklin was soo impressed! Thn 1 ode guy nw came up nxt nd started break dancing. Kirk sooo bounced his ass outta ther mehn. He had boldly stated ‘Nigerian dancing Skills!’ that 1 nw wantd 2 show an American tha we cn break dance in africa. Ode. Hu snt him. Lmao!

Wen they roundin off the show, sum ppl actuali started chanting ‘Mre! More! More!

The journey bak:
You wont bliv we came home by ourselves too! Aseen, wen twas almost daybreak was wen it clicked that my sister meant we were gonna find our way bak home! I was too tired to evn b pissed! I jus kept replayin the previous day’s BRT experience nd I was jus oo sad! Fortunately she ws lk atll w’re not tan BRT again tha we wld tk a cab.
So we walkd down to one place lyk ths thn got a cab. Wen I sa we I mean al o us! Seen, my sister nd I plus ha frnd, ha frnds’ sister nd ha frnd’s frnd. We sha squeezed into the same cab tho we wernt all goin to the same place. I guess we all jus dint want to wait 4 the nxt cab. Err1 jus wantd to go! The cab guy nw stated vexin 4 us wen we were almost home that we din tel him we wer makin so many stops oh. My sister’s frnd frnd finished d guy ,ehn. Aseen1 I’m not one to insult elders nd all buh d guy sef was a case! He too talk mehn! D bbe gave it bak to him hot hot! Twas funny sha. Hope he doesn’t surse ha or us or sumn.
We sha got home in 1 piece!!!! Thank Jesus!


DANG!!!! WHAT AN EXPERIENCE SHEY?????