JEALOUS: feeling angry or unhappy because someone has something that you would like; feeling angry or unhappy because someone you like or love is showing interest in another person.


I wonder why ppl find it so hard to admit that they’re jealous. Lyk serzly, wat is the big deal?!! We can rarely control our feelings or emotions so y try to hide from urself?

Me, I’ve come to terms with the reality that I am a jealous cow! I’m sooo jealous these days its disgusting! I’m jealous of my sisters, my bffs, the other girls guys I like talk to and the list is endless!

My sisters:

My older sister is lyk the perfectest child of my parents. I thot I was my dad’s honeypie nd all buh it turns out, hez moved on to my sister. On a normal day, I wldnt evn care bout hu the parents lyk more buh wen benefits nd priviledges start 2 come out of it, it affects me.
My mom is just on her own kentro serzly…she cn giv my sister money for straightening her bed! Wth?! Wuz d big deal in dah 1 nw? nd shez alwaez goin off bout how my sister wld b d purrfect wife nd mother nd all cuz shez so gud in the kitchen nd around the house. Puh-lease!! Gimme a break abeg! In d 21st century? Reli?
The annoyin fng is dah im nt as lazy nd useless as she fnks I am. Outside ov my house ppl kno me as the ‘neat’ girl. At least I fnk so…lol…buh on tha real, I cant stand dirt nd disorganised places. Buh at home, nobody sees me daht way…they all see me as the lazy fool!
And thn, my older sister is lyk sooo brave! Lyk she cn totally wear rubbish buh carry it lyk a million bucks! D annoyin fng is cuz ov ha confidence, ppl’ll nw actually dig d rubbish she wore!

My younger sister doesn’t have the most perfect lyf buh I stl envy ha tho. she doesn’t hav to worry bout so many fngs! Ok scratch that…she does…shez kinda lyk at that age wen u worry bout errfng!(the pre-teen years)


My bffs:
Bff1 nd I wer lyk almost the same b4. asin we both wer quiet to nu ppl buh talkative nd all wiv ppl we wer cool wiv. Sadly tho, I fnk im the only 1 dah stl does that. She seems lyk such a diff person nw. espeshly nw dah sec. sch’s over….iz lyk nw we’re just frnds struggling to kip in touch…ok…iz nt dah bad yet..buh I reli fnk shez sooo outgoin in ha nu sch so she probly has enuf nu reli close frnds tha r lyk the nu ha. Therz nt reli a nu ha buh therz lyk an improved ha…dunno wat im saen sef…I sha knot ha she cnt b dullin lyk me. Nd tis unfair. I wonder y tis soo hard 4 me to mk nu frnds. I hav a few nw buh they’re lyk at arms length. I’ve only known them 4 a month plus I don’t live with them lyk bff1 does in ha sch. Ohh welll. Daz hw wen the hols come, she’ll probly wnt 2 hang out wiv ha nu frnds nd I’ll b lyk ‘the tatcher!’ 

Bff2 hasn’t reli changed much. I fnk shez stl lyk me…u kno, keeping these nu frnds at arms length..the funny fng is I myt evn b wrong bout bbb1 being so close to ha nu frnds


Ooooo! Im tired ov wat im saen! I feel daft writin all these cuz it doesn’t evn mk sense nemore! Derz no real reason 4 me 2 b jealous ov my bffs! Only a teeny tiny 1 which is the fact that they’ll probly hav a lot more nu frnds thn me! Nd thaz nt evn sooo bad1 I jus wasted my tym typin ths long post!

i know i lukd real niiiiiccee 2day...not that i dont always luk nice cuz I do…really I do…(conceited much?yes! lol)rockd pink...again... i wore pink ths entire week...hehe...

k...so therz ths 2 dudes i want 2 start talkn 2...lyk iono y...i jus fnk they'd b real fun ppl...so errdae im chillin nd chllin 4 fate 2 jus bring dem my way buh no such luck! btw i dont fnk the're hot or nefn oh...i jus lyk them as dudes 2 hang wiv...so thaz hw ydae wen tha stupid dude took my seat, one ov em comes up nd tries ta tell tha dude 2 b a gentleman nd all buh d seat stealer doesnt budge. i sha walked out pissed. lera on, d one ov d 2 guys dah tried 2 save my seat 4 me nw saw me chillin at the bak ov the class nd is lyk oh so u're sittin here now? nd im lyk sadly yh. hez lyk eeyahh...nd den he jokes(i hope so) dah i shld hav threatened 2 bust the seat stealer's brains and i laugh thn he runs along,

the main problem is this: R WE NOW FRIENDS? SHOULD I WAVE AT HIM WEN NXT I SEE HIM?

i dunno y i hav ths stupid pride fng...i find it sooo hard 2 actually say hello 2 ppl..im always fnkn y cant he/she say sup 1st.

sha sha sha...i dont hav a new crush...wich is unusual considerin i m in a new environment wiv alot ov males...i guess they just dont got my type...hiss

i miss all the boys i dont talk 2 nemore...the 1s tha got bored ov me, the 1s tha gt girlfrnds,the 1z tha felt they'v nw become bigs boys...*sigh*

btw. is it me or do ppl jus hate on otha ppl cuz they seem 2 hav errfng?
i mean isnt it just instinct 2 hate the babe tha remembad 2 bring ha umbrella while u're soaking wet unda the rain?
Or the babe who seems 2 b havin a blast partyin all ova the place while u're cozed up @ home studyyin? mscheeww

i think i need 2 b a tad bit more friendly...neva hav so many ppl asked me if im always 'ths quiet'. nonsense. me? quiet ke? therz jus no one 2 tlk 2.i miss my frnds...i evn had a dream wher we wer all bak in high sch...up 2 our old tricks...*sigh*
yes i kno ths is a rather sad and long post....

isnt it rather annoyin wen u catch a guy's eye errdae...lyk u kno hez totally feelin u nd all buh he doesnt step up??? it is!!! hisss. sometimes i dont blame some bbz 4 going all ths-is-the-21st century on guys... reli...

i am grateful 2 God 4 life nd all buh fngs r jus reli pissin me off atm...i probly shld quit worrying too much and over-thinkin thngs...lyfs too short shey?
Peace and love!

im bak!!!

hey guys!!! im bak!!!
aseen it feels lyk ive bin gone a whole yr buh iz reli jus a month!!
imma tell y'all wat hapnd in tha first place lera buh nw imm jus post all the things i wantd 2 post in tha last month!

nd yh, Happy holidays!!!!!
Christmas was sooo nice, i hope y'all had fun tew...

another rant.....

I reli hate that all I have 2 tlk bout is school….

Sha sha sha. The male species intrigue me! Aseen. They never cease to amaze me. After all their ‘forming badguy’ they’ll stl some around. Like 1 dude lyk ths in my class. We had been catching each other’s eye for weeks. Sometimes we would even stare at each other for like 5 (or even more) minutes without blinking. I kept thinking, 1 day ths guy’ll step up and say hello until one day last week when he huffily said to me, “Excuse me!” when I was kinda like in his way. Aseen. I almost died. Not cuz he was so hot or nefn oh. He just had ths freshness that appealed to my eyes. He had ths mean eyes that were jus too sexy! He sed it lyk he was irritated by me. Since then I conditioned my mind that he wasn’t starin at me cuz he liked me. And I never caught his stare after that too.
So yesterday as I was leaving the building, guess who practically chased me down the stairs? I’ll tell u! My sexy eyed fresh starer!(is that evn a word? Aseen someone who stares). He was nw tryna be all smooth nd all. Ode. Afta practically chasing me down the stairs. He was sha real cool. Nd I guess we’re friends… no… acquaintances now. Yay!

Yh…nd I like someone!!! He’s not even all that cute. he is cute tho. Just not all that. I guess im gerrin more mature. Serzly. Ths time last year, looks were all that mattered when it came to boys. Ok not all buh looks wer a reli reli reli huge deal. I guess im nt all that shallow nemore.

Which reminds me! Sum guys r jus on another cruise! Reli! They just don’t get it! The guy that I wrote bout that got me earphones? Rememba him? He’s a disgu! Ugh! Aseen I cant evn stand to be within 2 ft ov him. I dint kno hw to get him off me so I tried changing my attitude. I dint wnt 2 b mean cuz hes’ in my class nd’ll probly b 4 a while (if I dnt leav the effin skul!). so I started actin lyk sum spoiled shallow bitch. Sayin stuff like, “I’ll choose covenant ova lag cuz ther r fresher ppl ther”, “I turn off my fone cuz I don’t want random ppl callin me”….
Ok so I cant reli rememba wat I sed…I sha kno I sed stuff that shld reli irritate him buh dint! He dint luk thrilled either tho. he sha dint leave me alone thaz d main fng 

Started one tree hill season 7 ydae…they actually cut lucas nd peyton out of it! Im nt exactly sad sha..buh I cnt bliv they removed 2 major characters jus lyk that…they replaced em wiv hotter characters tho…nd therz more shirtlessness! Hehe

Thankfully my mom has gotten off my case…

I stl miss my old life tho.

Chillin 4 dec…hope it doesn’t flop afta all my expectations…I kno God wnt do that 2 me sha.

Cuz somtyms iz lyk wen I plan stuff in my head, lyk daydream bout hw I wnt some day 2 go, it doesn’t work out at all! Lyk the day totally sucks! As if God is tryna tell me to let him tk control…mayb I shld stop tryna imagine/plan/organise the future in my head…hmmn…oh well…

Peace!
x

frustration

i know i sed it ydae buh im sayin it agin 2dae...my mother vexes the hell outta me! argh!! WTFH!! aseen, i am soo frustrated right now.

the things that i hate.
1.i hate it when people ask questions they know they wouldnt let you answer. like somebody says, "Did you take the trash out?" and just before you evn come up with a smart excuse they quickly add, "I dont know wh u're so lazy! you didnt take the trash out!"
WTF? y ask if u alredi knew?
2.i hate it when people see you doing something and bring their own somethings to you to be done.(HUH?)
like you're folding clothes thn sum1 cums along and drops her clothes beside you and goes "Pleaseeeee...since you're folding anyway" or you're doing the dishes and you're almost done thn sum1 cums nd drops their plate in the sink. mscheeew.
3.i hate it when people repeat themselves for emphasis. like really, do i look deaf? or slow? mscheew...
4.i hate it when ppl apologise unnecessarily. like it just really ticks me off mehn. Lyk im talkin 2 sum dude nd he says sumn but i dont reply cuz my mind was probly sumwher else thn he goes "Oh, i'm sorry.i sed sumn u dont like?" hiss. or im hangin wiv a dude nd thn he goes "sorry btw, for not lookin so fresh 2day" serzly, wuz my bizness? hiss or i sae im sad or not feeling too good nd thn ppl sae "Oh,i'm sorry" hiss, was it them that made me sad, y r they sorry? eyah, wat hapnd or hang in ther shld b the perfect response.
5.i hate it wen ppl ask you a question nobody else knows and when you dont know it, they act as if u're soo useless. odes, y dint they know the ansa themselves.
6.i hate it wen a conversation is dry nd no one has nefn else 2 say thn guys say "so wasup now" like reli, dint u ask me that at the beginning ov the convo. in short i jus hate it wen sum1 asks the same question more thn once in the same convo.
7.i hate it when ppl think they're being all blunt nd all buh wah they're reli doing is being friggin mean! its like ppl dont know how 2 give constructive criticism again.
8.i hate it when i try sumn that worked out perfectly 4 otha ppl nd it now blows up in my face. ah! i suffered ths 1 well in sec.sch. dahs how one time we wer cuttin a class thn the vice-principal approaches thn err1 jus runs past her. wen twas my turn was wen she nw pulls me bak! lyk serzly wth?
9.i hate tacky make-up mehn. argh! ths thing irritate the life outta me mehn. left to me, make-upis not by force if u dont kno how to use it. serzly, wats d point of spending ur money nd time on foundation that is (so bloody obvious) not ur shade by far or linin gur lips with a balck pencil + clear lip gloss. reli?? ewwww!
10.i hate it when a guy thnks u like him cuz u're reli nyc 2 him nd all buh nt so nice to otha guys that he knos u kno. iz not like errbody is the same so must i b nyc 2 errbody? obviously ppl hav distinguishing attribute that mk me act nicer to them thn othas...reli...guys that thnk like that shld grow a fuckin pair mehn!
11.ihate it when i have a missed call from sum1 nd i call or txt bak nd the persn doesnt acknowledge either. reli? wats ur point of now calling me in the 1st place if u're nt reli interested in talkn 2 me? hiss
12.i hate it wen bbz dress up lyk they dont own effin mirrors. i dnt kno y it affects me mehn. i kno its not my bizness and all buh reli, bbz lyk that r jus representin the female folk wrong!
13.i hate it when guys thnk its badass 2 b openly rude 2 girls. thats hw 1 dae on fb, one guy wrote sumn daft lyk tha as his status, one bbe(s'posed 2 b his frnd oh)now LOLed, the guy nw commented "who's ths one? shut the fuck up bitch! dont b commentin on my status if u aint got nefn sensible 2 sae, idiot!" im serz! to a gurl! evn if they're tight lk that iz stl wrong mehn...it made it seem lyk she was sum tatcher or they wer not cul b4...hiss..guys...
14.i hate it when i hurry not to miss sumthn nd afta all my rush, i stl miss it. man, its vexin!
15.i hate it when i follow ppl on twitter nd they dont follow me bak. nt talkn bout celebrities here oh. real ppl that actually kno u nd tlk 2 u on a normal dae. r they tryna sae they're not interested in ur lyf? hiss
16.i hate it when my nail polish chips off nd i cant find the remover or the nail polish to retouch it. i'll now b lookin raggedy. doesnt happen often tho.
17.i hate it when ppl thnk its cul to act unserous bout academics. lyk reli, y take the thng tha'll mk u a badass rich bbe or guy in the future as a joke?
18.i hate it when u introduce ur frnd 2 anotha frnd thn they both become sooo close they 4get all bout u. hisss.
19.i hate it when ppl cut me off in tha middle of hot,spicy gist.
20.i hate it wen guys unnecessarily take my hand. abeg, i dont like it jare.
more to come...

jus remembad 1 room raiders i watched wher the girl that dint get pickd sed the girl that got pickd nd the guy r boring sad geeks cuz they blog. that bloggin is for ppl that r so sad, they dont hav real ppl 2 tlk 2. now is that true? y the hell wild sum1 thnk that?

story story oh...

i guess its tyms lyk ths that i actually agree wiv my sista tha im a sad bbe mehn...afta ive done and said rubbish during tha day i'll nw cum home nd start blogging...

sha ive done nonsense again oh! ths tym i cant evn blame ne1 buh myself. ok so how dd it it start. i cnt evn rememba. i sha kno i was bored outta my mind nd im scrollin down my mssgr list nd im like i cn lyk 2 holla at all ths ppl i havnt tlkd 2 in a while...i nw hollad at HIM. i coulda skipped him oh...dont kno d devil tha possesed me not to...kmt...i nw sha sed sup. at 1st i thot he wasnt evn gonna ansa. i wantd 2 die!!! not that i care cuz i lyk him or sumn oh...i jus care cuz i care bout errfbg! serzly...random stuff affect me alot iono y...
the most important fng wiv dis particular dude is that he has a big EGO...serzly...if he shld gt into a battle wiv /kanye over hu has the biggest ego, he'd sooo win...d only thng is he kinda has a reason 2 b so full ov himself- hez a fiiine boy mehn.fresh nd al...
sha...that doesnt change the fact that i shldnt hav hollad..espeshly wen i hrd 1 gist lyk that bak in sec.sch that he sed i snt him 2 frnd reqs b4 he nw decidd 2 ansa me! aseen how far! y do ppl lie lyk that?! it dint bother me so much thn cuz the source was totally unreliable...buh fnkn bout it nw, wat it he actually dd sae it?
foolish boy...d annoyin fng is we actually used 2 yan oh...lyk we cld gist thru out an entire wkend...all of a sudden, we just dint holla at each otha nemore
bak 2 wen i hollad jare...ehen so he did ansa me..nd we talkd 4 a while nd all b4 i exed saen i was goin 2 bed...nxt dae, he starts the convo nd im lyk ehnnnn so u knew i was on ur mssgr list eva since eh? i sha ansad him nd we're talkin nd all..thn he snds me a frnd req on fb nd im lyk wtf?!! dd he delete me or sumn? mayb he reli dd sae those fngs bk thn oh...buh as a daft mumu, i add him wivout askin ne questions...

d main pint here is i dont like him buh my actions mk it seem lyk i do!!! aseen...i hate it wen ppl dont gt me mehn...i wuz probly too tired 2 start askn hw cum u're sndn me a req on fb nd alll...kmt..

i kno i shldnt care buh i cnt help it!!!

now 2 otha bizness...
my motha vexes me...aseen constantly....its so annoyin wen i see otha bbz gettin alon gqiv their moms. like 2day, we were in the car 2getha nd my sista nd i wer singin along 2 'Take ur shirt off' loudly thn she goes we shld be quiet joh, the drivers's not interested in hearing our voices. asin she sed it lyk we wer tryna entice the driver wiv our voices! eewwww! thn when she gets bak home wen she goes out, the way she knocks on the window irritates me! y on earth shld a persn knock on thw window ??!! my sista sed its ha signature knock so we'll kno its her cuz no one else knocks on the window(y shld they?!) thnshe keeps on talkin in incomplete sentences lyk i shld b able 2 read her mind or sumn..hiss

nd yh...i got invited 2 a pool party...buh i cnt go...im nt evn al that sad cuz im shy lyk that...lol...buh on the real...i wld sooo not go 4 a pool party wher i kno lyk only 1 persn(the dudue that i nvited me). i wld b sooo self-conscious nd all...plus i havnt eva partied by myself b4...my myself i mean wivout my frnds or my sista...ive been feelin kinda bad dayin i cnt go...its the 1st fng hez invitin me 4 nd i cnt go...oh well...hope he doesnt fnk im such a juvie...

thn therz ths dude in my class i fnk is reli feelin me nd al...hez jus ther...lyk reli...i cant say im terribly repulsed by him buh im nt feelin him either..hez lyk all those kinda guys that apologise quickly nd all...not my type...i lyk rude boys..lol..serzly tho...the bad boys are always catchin my eye...lolthn i thnk in his mind hez impressin me wiv his convo skills..lyk i dont fnk they're original...buh he dd gt me earphones 2day...that was sweet...he askd y i was down nd i sed twas cuz my ipod earphones broke thn he went nd got me earphones...the girls i tlk 2 wer nw lyk awww...how sweet nd all...warrevs...

therz 1 curie pie ive bin noticin mehn...buh i hav a felin all hez got is his cuteness mehn...lyk im nt reli feelin his swag nd all...dnt gt me wrong hez nt razzzz or totally uncool, hez jus not a badass guy. all ths guys sef, dey too lyk games...they'll be givin u eye buh they'll nt step up...tis gerrin rather old mehn...

oh yhh...boyfy nw came nd started interogatin me on mssgr that wah exactly was i talkn bout nd all...i shulda known he dint undastnd cuz the way he was callin me twice a day nd yelling baby!!! hunnay!! smh

ohhhh...i jus breezed mehn...buh i cnt help it mehn...


ohhh...thn therz that cutie frm church...i fnk hez kinda shy...buh at least he stepped up so i guess not! tha dude is fresh steez mehn...ah

neway...thaz all i hav 4 nw...
xx

so much to say!

ok so i have alot 2 say ths tym! havnt got alot ov tym tho!
school is gerrrin bera...however the sun is stl a bother...ive started talkn more 2 ppl nd all...i wonder y i thot i was reli friendly b4...i guess im nt...
you wont bliv wat hapnd 2 me 2day?! one olodo boy stole my seat! the seat that i chose afta coming 2 nd half hrs early 4 the class!

wil continue ASAP!