Tuesday, March 23, 2010

the ppl...

Ok I just found out sumn bout myself. I am EXTREMELY lazy! Aseen! I cnt evn bliv myself! Lyk 2day for example I gradually watched my cell phone battery die cuz I wuz too lazy to stand up nd get the charger! My lazyness has always bin der buh nowadays its growin to xtreme levels! I guess I’m just not one of those ppl hu do necessary things despite hw tired they are. I wld rather just sleep! 

So I decided to write about the ppl in my life hu reli matter.
rather than just breeze or talk bout school or boys…
So here goes:

My Mom: As much as this woman pisses me off almost every blessed day, I love her with all my heart. Shez pushy, fussy, partial, indecisive, forgetful and temperamental but then again shez there for my sisters and i. shez bin there since my dad left nd shez stl there so I guess I gotta hand that to her. She may not be the mom you love to gist with and tell all your problems but she’ll definitely be the mom that makes sure you succeed at everything you do. She may ground you unneccesarily but at least she makes sure you don’t starve. She may embarrass you infront of your friends and maybe even your crush but she provides the cool clothes that get you to a lot ov cool places. She may be stingy wiv cash sometimes but she remembers to cover you with a blanket when you fall asleep infront of the tv. She may criticise everything you do but shez also real quick to bundle you with compliments and praises when she deems it fit.
I feel bad from time to time when I remember the nasty things ive said (in my mind) to my mom. I mean, I know shez not the perfect mom or evn the ‘just ok’ mom but shez enuf for my sisters and I and im real grateful that shez in my lyf.

My Dad: I’m sure he or anyone else wont bliv he made it to the list of ppl that matter in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I heart my pops. Lyk serzly, I love him die buh hez just not reli in my life lyk he shld be or at least lyk I wnt him to be. Sure, we talk from time to time buh I wish we had sumn more. I wish we had that father-daughter relationship people talk bout. These days, I feel like there’s hardly anything for us to talk about except school, money, his health and computers. Even just last week, I went to go see him(actually to collect money) with my friends. While I was there, we didn’t even gist at all. Not even about computers! I really hope I’m not becoming redundant to him. Like those kinda kids you just hand out money to but you reli don’t care about.
Like back in the day, me and my dad used to gist dieee! I remember when we still had those NITEL landline phones. I would call him at work and gist him bout rubbish. One time we were even arguing bout which of the Destiny’s child members was the hottest. He claimed it was Kelly but I insisted it was my girl, Bee. We sha both agreed Michelle was just der as a pretty face. *Sigh* those days!!
All in all sha, I’m really grateful my dad is in my life. Even if he’s not exactly one call away…

My older sister: if u see the way me and my older sister act towards each other, someone who doesn’t know us at all might actually mistake our love for hate. We constantly tease each other like crazy. It’s soo bad that we hardly even compliment ourselves. Over the years, we’ve come to understand each other’s criticisms and take them on lightly.
Sometimes I wish I could slap the caps off my sister’s knees (got that from everybody hates chris) but I remember how she’s the only big sister I’ll ever have. One day for instance, we yelled at each other for hours over a pair of jeans and I almost thought my sister would never speak to me again. I don’t know if she does it on purpose oh, but she’s always cheating me! then when I’m protesting, I say all sorts of things I shouldn’t say then the fight grows bigger then I feel foolish. Don’t y’all just hate that feeling of stupidity when you realise you over-reacted???
Sha I wouldn’t trade my sister for anything!! Even if she doesn’t spare a dress I’ve begged her for for over a year, she’s still my lovable huggable sweeriepie! That thing vexes me sha, I’ll beg and beg for her clothes and she just wont spare them! Ok fine, she does sometimes but after I’ve begged like a foolish cow. the annoying thing is I give her my stuff almost freely! Stingy girl oshi.
Even my friends at school know that my sister’s opinion means a lot to me. and they never forget to remind me. according to them, everytime I buy something, I mutter “I wonder what my sister’ll think”
It’s kinda true sha. 

My little sister: this child just makes me laugh. I swear sometimes when I’m at school and I remember her, I just chuckle to myself. People’ll probably think I’m crazy but gisting with my little 12 year old sister is one of my favourite past-times. Even if she doesn’t know half of the people in the gist, she really pays attention and is all awed and fascinated at my stories. It’s like she just adores me sometimes. She’s constantly encouraging me to finish my writings. Everytime I dress up, she’ll always be ready with a compliment. After my older sister finishes dissing my fashion combinations, it’s always a relief when my little sister comes and completely worships it.
I tell her about boys, my friends, school work, my older sister’s bugging, my mom’s hassling and she tells me the same. Sometimes she’s really shy about talking bout school to me cuz I fnk she doesn’t want to feel like she’s not cool enuf. Like my sec. sch experiences cant be compared with her dry ones so she can be really stingy with gist sometimes.
Also, she’s like a wosre version of me. you know the way, my confidence ours sporadically? Her own is extreme! Even the way she walks sometimes, you can tell she’s not feeling herself. I worry for her though cuz I kno it’s a terrible feeling. I don’t even think she has friends like that like that. Maybe just people she talks to and ols with but not friends asin friends. She has me tho. she knos I’ll always hav her bak. Evn wen my mom and older sister are all up in her grill, I step in and tell them to chill. They’ll now be saying am indulging her in rubbish. Warreva jare.

My Bff1: I have two bestest friends in the whole wide world. I don’t count family cuz if your family isn’t your best friend, who else’ll nw be?
Ehen so me and my bff1 have been friends since jss3(that’s like year 9). It all started wen we had 2 stay back in school for extension classes durin easter break. The girls I used to roll wiv started actin kinda funny. Till today, I stl don’t kno why buh anywayz I started to roll wiv bff1 and fashied dem. She was in my music class. So we basically became real tight during that extension time. Especially wen I found out her mom and dad were also broken up just like mine.
Ever since then till now, we’ve always had each other’s back. We haven’t ever even really fought. Obviously, we’ve gotten on each other’s nerves but we’ve never really had cause to really yell at ourselves and cuss out each other.
We both started different unis last year and since then we haven’t reli seen each other much. Her school is lyk som prison and they’re only allowed out for holidays and a few exeats. Even this last Christmas hols, we hung out only once. She already had new friends from school that time sef. It wasn’t all that awkward sha. We stl had fun.
Like 2 wks ago we were talking over the fone nd I was telling her bout som party I went for and all and how people frm ha sch dint evn show evn tho it was organised by one of them. She now sed that they have priorities blah blah blah. Shet! I felt rather foolish! Like wasn’t it me and her that were both party people back in the day? So we didn’t have priorities then abi? Its not like she sed it with attitude or anything ssha. She evn sed not to mind her that she was jokin but it stl stung mehn. Shez on a first class now btw. Havnt written my first exams yet but the pressure is to not be the unserious one is there mehn. Imagine if afta all my parting I don’t nw get a first class?I hope she’ll stl have my back Sha sha sha, She always does. And I’m grateful for her.

My bff2: she’s number 2 cuz I we became close later later in school not cuz shez any less of a bff than bff1. sha therz no defined story of how we started rollin. I sha kno we used to hate each other like maddd till like the end of ss2. people misunderstood her and she had a lot of hatters. Bff1 was a major 1! She always put up a bithcy front to shield her naivety and shyness. Everybody thot she was just some nasty-for-no-reason, spoilt, bossy show-off but in reality she was just a girl seeking for attention. She’s the baby of her house so no one really pays her attention at home and she wanted some at school.
I know for sure that she’ll always have my back sha. No matter how many new friends she makes. Shez in a different uni now too. Hers is even in another region of the country. We talk daily sha. She lets me know the p bout anythn goin down in her zones and I don’t let her slack either.
We’ve been thru crazy times mehn! I remember how we used to talk for hours and hours with that starcomms free weekend calls thing. We would just be saying rubbish!! Even my momz was always disgusted at how I had the phone stuck to my ear for that long.
The thing about having 2 besties is that there r something I tell bff1 that I don’t tel bff2 ad vice-versa. Like things I know bff2 would understand better, I don’t bother telling bff1. I really don’t know what I would do if bff2 wasn’t in my life.

Recently two more people have been added to my list. As some guy I met last week put it, ‘besties by default’. Like cuz bff1 and bff2 arent available at the moment, these 2 girls are here for me:

Roommate 1: funny enuf, she wuz my best friend another lifetime ago. Like in jss2/jss3 before we had this huge fight! After then we never really sed more than hello to each other till now. Now we go everywhere together. It’s like you cant see me somewhere and not see her (except the few classes we don’t have in common). She’s wiv me practically all day so we talk bout boys, school,family and steez lyk we’ve known each other for ages.

Roommate 2: always knew her back then as roommate 1’s friend buh we reli weren’t friends or anyfin. Now we’re like sooo into the same things. Like she has time for the iranu I have time for. Like wen roommate 1 is actin all mature, we don’t evn mind, we just carry on with our foolishness. This babe cracks me up dieee!! I swear, you cant stay with ths girl 4 five mins and not laugh.

Oh well!! Guess that’s all of em!!

In cupid's mind...

In cupid’s mind now, he’s got me on some kinda love lockdown!
So on valentines day, roomie1’s friend is in the area and comes to say hello. Lets call him HB. The week before that, he told roomie1 that in the picture she put of us on Facebook, I looked really nice, that who was i. so after he and roomie1 talk for awhile, he tells her to call me. so I come outside to meet him. He introduces himself and acts all I’m-so-awestruck-by-you-but-I’m –trying-to-code-it. We talked for a bit and founnd out we have a few common friends and everything. We both even went to the same SAT tutorial school but at different times. He was sha real cool and kinda cute. His smile was just his best feature. He was soo cute!!
A friend of ours was gonna take me and roomie1 out that evening so we had told HB that we had to go get ready and all. As we were heading back, we saw one of our other guy friends that we like teasing. We decided to make him jealous so we told HB to drop us off at some other hostel just so that our friend could see us in his ride and probably be jealous(we’re just jobless!). so on the way, there was traffic(imagine! Inside school again). HB and I sha got to talk more. I guess that was when I fell in ‘like’ with him. He was giving me all this I’m-feeling-you looks through the rear-view mirror. In my mind, he was feeling me.
So we started texting each other the next day. We mostly talked bout random things but I was always so excited whenever a new text came. The foolish boy took like forever to reply txts so I was practically like a child anxiously chilling to open a Christmas present!
Sha sha sha he asked me for the day I was free then came to see me. funny enuf, I dint even over baff up or anything, I just wore a Polo top and jeans(that looked kinda funny). Not to mention that I was on the period so my confidence was level was pretty low.
We talked for a few mins then he started driving around. I was even surprised he knew lag that well. He even tried to teach me how to drive but I chickened out. I sha enjoyed his company and it looked like he enjoyed mine.
He came to see me a few more times. We mostly just drove around lag talking and laughin and steez. He sha showed a lot signs that he was feeling me so I allowed myself to really really like him.
Then one weekend like this, I didn’t hear from him atall. It was rather strange and all so I chilled till Tuesday then texted him. He sha replied dah I forgot him shey and things like that. We were sha chattin till he sent one unexplainable msg. sumn bout backing off. Told him to explain, he sed not 2 worry. Next thing he sent sumn like ‘I’ve me halfway’. I was like wtf and askd he 2 explain again buh dis tym he dint evn reply!
I was sooo weak!
Can u imagine he didn’t say anything again till like a week after. He called and stl sed I shldnt worry bout the txts then ASKED FOR MY SISTER’S FRIEND’S NUMBER!!! I was just irritated! To think that he could act so casually bout liking my sister’s friend was just hurtful. Like there was no chemistry between us or anything. I sha told him that I would ask for her permission first after I teased him bout chasing older girls. He insisted she wasn’t older than him. Warreva. I askd d babe if I could give him, she sed yes. I texted him the number and he dint evn hav the courtesy to reply ‘thanx!’ To top it up, he’ll now be putting up some kain love love Facebook statuses, chattin with lots of girls on his wall,commentin on almost every pic any of his femal friends’ upload, all that kain rubbish sha. Roomie1 insists that he’s just playin wiv my emotions that he still reli likes me.

I’m still trying to understand what his deal is…I don’t think he was serious about liking my sister’s friend…what is so confusing is the way he just stopped calling, texting and is acting all oblivious of what we shared in those 2 weeks. Even if it really wasn’t anything, it was the beginning of a special friendship! I also know for a fact that he was into me! Or was it just in my head?? Nahhh… The thing is that I know that HB is a really nice guy. He may be immature but I know he’s not like them heartless player types. What could his
reason be for whatever he’s doing??? Is it possible that he’s just not into me anymore?? Could i have said something to chase him away?? Or maybe it was something he heard?

What do you guys think???!

February paroles

Omg!!! Its been sooo long!!! Don’t think I’ve ever been away for this long! I hope I was missed sha…lol (dreams!!). the sad thing is I cant guarantee that I’m fully back. I just had to hurriedly pop in and account for the last month and half. I have sooo many things to say!

So I moved into school on the 1st of February with no idea of what to expect. After staying almost six weeks, I sure do have a lot of stories. Dang! That school is a community of its own! Its filled with various kinds of individuals from every kinda background you can think of. Being my first full-time boarding school experience, I was rather shocked at how different people could be. Would you believe that for real for real there are still aristo girls? Asin student aristo girls?! Asin plenty of them!!! Sometimes my naivety baffles me but I really did not expect the population of such girls to be this much.
Even when I was trying to whine my popcy for a blackberry and brazillian hair and he told me that most of the girls I see with these things at school are probably doing some form of runz , I thought he wuz breezing! Little did I know!

Its not like there aren’t correct babes oh…there are…plenty sef…all these pampered daddy’s girls…but because there are also so many runz girls, it’s reali hard to tell the difference! One evening, my dad dropped me and my friends off at the hostel gate and if u see how people were staring at us ehn! Mehn if eyes were spears, only God knows what would have happened! They obviously thot he was our sugar-daddy or something!

Moving on jare…have I mentioned that there are fresh boys???!!! In excess!!! As in, fresh from head to toe! Fresh asin: fresh attitude, fresh face, fresh, bod, fresh clothes, fresh ride, fresh gpa! Dang! It’s a wonder how I’m able to concentrate in class! Actually it’s not that hard cuz freshmen guys aren’t really all that fresh(especially in my faculty). Thankfully I don’t have to bear their unfreshness all week. I take 3 outta 6 classes at some faculty called fss. Mayneee….come and see freshhh boys!!! Out of the 3 classes I have there, I only concentrate for one and a half! I have a permanent window seat so I can see all freshness from far and near!

The parties!!!: yes ohh….i have started rocking!! Went 4 three outta the countless parties in February. Lag people love to party sha! The 1st one I went for was at Tribeca. It’s like one of the hottest spots at the moment. I went with my friend and 2 of her friends. It was her guy-friend who happens to be the treasurer of one of the organisin clubs that took us. Everything was soo fresh. We didn’t have to hustle ride to get there like some other babes or chill outside for hours. We got into VIP in no time and everything. The only effed up thing was the air-conditioning. I totally cant stand heat so I didn’t party much. I danced a little then chilled mostly. I don’t drink, so on a scale of 1-10, I would rate the fun level at abou 5.5. it didn’t end bad though. I ran into hottie!! Remember him?? Yup, I ran into him and we talked for looong! He even had his hand on my waist and everything. I almost exploded with happiness. He dint ask for my number then tho.(he has it now sha)
Nothing else really happened at party 1 so moving on!
Next was one valentine concert thingy like this. It was at fantasy land. My sister and her friend got tickets but one of them wasn’t feeling it so she let me have hers. So it was me, my sister and her friend. I saw Banky W, Wizkid, Eldee and D’prince livee!!! I almost died of excitement I swear. Didn’t catch trips there sha. Even me I know I wasn’t lookin myself. It was a rush-rush thing so I don’t blame myself much. There weren’t even all that many fresh people there sef. Moving on!
Party 2: this was definitely the P! d’prince and wizkid were even there! This one was at Rehab. I went wiv my roomies this time. It was such a blast. This time I partied die!!! I danced with some rather hot fellows, If I do say so myself. I ran into hottie again and this time we actually danced. I know I was lookin the shit that day mehn. Ah ahn! don’t try me mehn. I would rate the fun level at 8.75!
Party 3: this one was a house-party at lekki. Twasnt reli a home tho. twas more of a house being used as a guest house. See fresh boys!! Ths one wasn’t a lag thingy, it was covenant dudes that organised it. So ther wer babcock, covenant and lag ppl ther. The atmosphere was skenzayy. It wasn’t reli bout hookin up. It was more like just jamming to your favourite songs with people. It was sha fresh. I looked rather skenzayy again. See how guys were practically fallin over themselves! In my mind ooo! The fun level here was about 7.
The annoyin part was wen I got 2 skul my sister now called me and starts yellin that she heard I what I did oh. That my gist is everywhere. Funny thing is, I didn’t evn do anything. Just chilled wiv my babcock peeps and danced with friends of friends. Up till now, she still wont tel me what she heard. And I’ve asked all my guy friends if they heard anything and they didn’t.

Oh well…that’s basically all the paroles I’ve had…
I hope people don’t start thinking im one of those girls who just live to party and all. I know I only went for 3 but the 3 I went for were the maddest ones so I saw all the correct people at all 3! I know I haven’t changed like tha sha. Obviously I’ve matured a bit more in this one month but I don’t think I’ll do anything that I wouldn’t have done months ago in the near future. I really hope people can see that I’m the very same me!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

In a parallel universe...

The other day I was watching the suite life of Zack and Cody.(I’m not too old to watch The Disney Channel, am i?) Erwin, that plumber guy, invented some phone booth thingy that could transport people to a parallel universe. In that parallel universe, really crazy weird stuff happens. Like Paris Hilton was the President, Zack and Cody’s mum let them do all sorts of irresponsible things, Mr. Mosby encouraged them to play in the hotel lobby and other crazy stuff sha. It was so hilarious that I decided to create my old parallel universe!

Here goes:::

I wake up at 11 am. The weather is perfect. As in there’s sun but it’s cold. It’s also kinda dry but not dusty. I check my new Blackberry Bold. I have messages from hottie. He tells me how much he misses my voice even though we just spoke before I went to bed. My Latina maid knocks and enters my room with a tray of Mexican breakfast and the day’s newspaper. I thank her and she curtsies as she leaves. The major stories are about the new president, Don jazzy and how he resembles former president Yar Adua with his taciturn nature. He also recently declared the whole month of May as Music Month for the Youth. During the course of the month, concerts would be held everyday and school would be cancelled. There was also the headline about Beyonce, Jay-z and their sextuplet’s new reality TV show. Shaking my head, I turned towards my phone as I heard my message ring tone. It was just Chris Brown wishing me a Good Morning. Rolling my eyes, I texted ‘Good morning yourself’ back to him. He was always all up in my face! Calling me, texting me, tweeting at me, flying in to see me. at least he was better than Trey Songz. That one was just a nasty freak. We had fun for a really short while before he started bombarding me with sex talk.

I hurriedly take a shower then head for my mall closet . What am I in the mood for today?, I thought. Perhaps a cute dress from my mini Lipsy store or a pretty cardi from my mini Zara store, I wondered. I’ll probably get some faux croc skin pumps to match my newest birkin bag, I was thinking just as hottie’s picture flashed against my phone screen. We talk for almost an hour while I try on tons of dresses and shoes.

PS: i was really bored wen i started typing this post so i probably just typed rubbish...

nd yh, all my followers have disappeared on twitter!! i'm serz! all at once!! **Now wailing and bashing my head against the wall!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Rantings on a dusty, dry wednesday night...

So I heard that I am unfriendly. I know I’m not the world’s friendliest person but I have never really thought of myself as unfriendly. In fact, I think people don’t even really know how to use the word friendly.

Friendly: Welcoming, Sociable, Pleasant, Affable.

If you’ve not approached me yet, how would you know that I’m not welcoming? If I’ve not refused your invite to a hang out, how can you say I’m not sociable? If I haven’t displayed any form of unpleasntness, how then am I unfriendly?

Just cuz I seriously hate famz (fam spiro, fam fam, over-familiarity) and i’m not an advocate for it doesn’t mean I’m not interested in meeting new friends. People just don’t get me mehn. 

So the stupid boy just came and sat beside me then goes “I’ve been watching you for quite sometime now and I’ve noticed that you don’t really talk to people in this department” first I give him the blankest stare ever then I take my earphones outta my ears. Then he goes “ Most people’ll think you’re saucy and snobbish oh...especially cuz of the high sch you went(he’d alredi asked me earlier). Most girls that go there are usually really snobbish”
This time I just shrug. Then he goes(with a look of disgust) “DO YOU FIND THE PEOPLE AROUND HERE BENEATH YOUR STANDARDS? DO YU THINK THEY’RE INFERIOR???”
I was just too stunned for words! Why was he on my case? Why on earth was a randomer unnecessarily raising his voice at me? Then I as calmly as possible said, ‘I dont know them, why would I judge them?”

People never cease to amaze me sha. That’s how one of my sister’s guy friends I recently met called me up just now. He even called before I just sorta missed the call. Sha he now said “ Jus wanted to check on you sha. You know, make sure you’re good and all”. He said he’s got my number cuz my sister’s always using his phone to call me. it’s no biggie sha..for now..i really hope he doesn’t try to start liking me or something. Cuz that thing really irks me! like 95% of my guy friends hit on me from time to time! Is it that they cant just see me as a friend or I’m jus real skenzayy like that?? Serzly why?? Why cant I be real close to a guy as a friend without him tryna ask me out or liking me??

Today my sister’s crush was totally all over that my friend that’s got this really good guy that she’ll probably not say yes to but really likes!!! Asin all of a sudden, she’s the hottest babe around! I don’t even get how and when it happened! I’m happy for her and all. I mean, she’s totally loving the attention but it’s still kinda weird sha. That all the hot guys’ll suddenly just start liking her….i’m probly jus being a bad-bele tho…God forgive me…

Saw hottie on Friday…he waved at me  I waved back buh I probly had a not-so-appealing look on my face cuz I was waiting in line for final registration wen I saw him. Oh well. He dint evn wave lyk he wuz super excited to see me or anythn..he jus acted lyk normal..mscheew…

Love you guys!!!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

I wanna know what love is.....i want him to show

Maybe it’s intuition…
There’re some things you just don’t question…
Like in your eyes I see my future in an instant…
I think I found my best friend…
I know this may be a little more than crazy but…

I knew I loved you before I met you…
I think I dreamed you into life!

I knew I loved you before I met you…
I’ve been waiting all my life!!

And that’s just the first verse of one of my favourite love songs. Ever since my quest for love began, I’ve been listening to really lovey-dovey songs and I don’t feel like puking!
I don’t even gag when I see massive PDA again. I just pass them and smile. Ok see how I’m talking like it’s not just today that all this transformation happened. It’s definitely because of ‘the crush’.
I think I should call him hottie. Then I’ll call that guy that is both our friends, FB. So I’ve not seen hottie since Tuesday. I’m not so sad sha. Obviously I was disappointed at the end of ydae and today but come to think about it, I’m kinda grateful I didn’t see him cuz I wanna look my best when next I see him. The crazy sun hasn’t really helped matters these past 2 days. I just hope it doesn’t take too long before we see so I don’t lose interest. Or I don’t hear something bout him that dissuades me.

Ther’s this really cuute guy that likes my friend. And she likes him too. They hang out a lot and all. All his siblings and friends know her sef. He’s even a twin sef. Imgine two identical cuties! What a catch shey? But this my friend eh, she likes wahala. She too front!! The guy’ll probly kno she likes him buh she’ll b actin as if shez soo na├»ve to the whole relationship fng. It vexes me mehn. The guy is such a catch.Not as much as hottie tho ;) . It’s just really hard to not get jealous when she’ll probly throw away the really good thing they have going on just cuz shez not sure she wants a relationship ryt now.

Funny enuf, this time last week wen my sister’s friend asked me if I would say yes if hotie asked me out I was like no. I was like I don’t want a boyfriend atm. I just want someone to hang with , chill with, you know just a boy that I like that likes me back. Then it just kinda hit me. If I can have what Lucas and Peyton/Nathan and Haley have in one tree hill, why shouldn’t I ? like really, what’s the biggie in just giving love a shot? Even if we don’t get married or anything, the experience would still be nice.

Then my sister and I have been arguing about marriage. She believes the most suitable time to meet your future husband is when you’re still in uni. According to her, that way once you’re done with grad school and nysc you’ll be close to settling down.
Me I think it would be real cool to finish grad school, nysc, start work, travel to lots of places, meet different kinda men then finally settle with the one you love most. My sister says I’m just thinking like a child but I still believe that it would really uncool to enter adulthood responsible to a certain guy. That means no crazy mad fun or partying when we’re finally free from our parent’s reins??? I think not!!

Nd can you imagine, wuz chattn wiv sum new dude ydae…Facebook chat oh…sumn I neva do…lyk Serzly iono wat inspired me…I sha tld him my sch wuz lag wen he askd nd can u bliv the ode exed?! Aseeen cuz I sed I wuz in lag! Mscheeww!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

HE touched me!!!!!

lol...but it's true sha...he,the hottie i wrote bout, touched me! like his fingers actually brushed against the skin of my chest intentionally!!!He was tryna brush a strand of hair away. i was in haeven!!!

lol i havent had this kinda crush in a while mehn...i usually just move on after a few days but this one is different. NOw i'm thinkin maybe i should have coded the fact that i was crushing on him cuz now almost all the girls i hang with know. it paid off tho. cuz one time he was approaching and one of them saw him and quickly told me and then i was able to brace myself and all. i just hope none of them does something terrible like doing him to hurt me if i annoy them.

the funny thing is i know deep down inside that even if he reciprocates my 'crushing', it cant really go farther cuz he's friends with that guy that is my friend now but just kinda stop asking me out. it just wouldnt be right.

but come to thik of it, i may have been wrong bout all these ppl decievin themselves with 'love'. Lately,i've just been playin I wanna know what love is in my head. then out of sadness, i decided to watch gossip girl and one tree hill again from season 1. i was just melting!! then it hit me, I WANNA KNOW WHAT LOVE IS!! i've been frontin for wayy too long. and even though i disagree with my sister that uni is the best place to find the boy u're goin to marry, i still think it'd be good if i gave myself a chance with love. *sigh!*

Live,love, dance!!! abi how does that go again..

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Onto the next one!

Its 8:35 in the morning and i'm up!! like i cant freakin believe it! i'm up for no reson!1 i dont have to go anywhere or do anything, i just felt like waking up!! i think i'm slowly turning into a morning person. The funny thing is, i'm not just up, i'm happy to be up! i'm not even grumpy or tryna go back to bed!!!

i guess i'm still happy bout fridae...lemme gist y'all..

So i leave my house in the dryest outfit i've ever combined in my entire life(in lag). Some cream tee and blue skinny jeans and ballet flats. I was so not in the mood to even find matching shoes i just slipped into black ones.Ewww. that's not the point sha.
SO i get to school extra early cuz the driver has to take my little sister to school before 8 and if i had chilled till he came bak i woulda been late. So i ended up in school at 7:10 for a class at 8(that started at 8:35 btw, hisss). so i decide to give my new classmates a chance. i tried my hardest not to criticise anyone's outfit in my head. i also didnt mentally summarise their lives in my head. i decided to have an open mind.
i was the third person in the class when i walked in! can u imagine ppl actually being almost an hour early for their first class!!! i sha walked in, said hello, no one answered me, i took a seat towards the back of the class and plugged in my earphones. i turned the volume up so high till i knew it was disturbin them! Nonsense! ordinary hey! they cldnt say.

i'm just gonna fastforward to the fun pat of the day:
So that guy i said i kinda liked that i dint like anymore was also at school on friday. So we hung out and all. At first, he acted like he really didnt care like that anymore. So later, we were hanging out in some cofee shop and i'm checking out his laptop theni see he has my bff's picture on his laptop!! like wth?!! i was just too disgusted! the ode now started saying he thought it was some other girl that was his firend. that they have the same hairdo, that he got it from his friends photos on facebook. yeah. rite. whatever. Then from there we meet up with this his hot friend that i met sometime last year. Aseeen!! Hot is even an understatement. he's a 10!!! asin, haircut on point, clothes, shoes,arms, chest, lips, eyes(dreamy!!!),everyhting!! this is how the convo went:

Hottie: Hey,what's your name again?(he said again, like he knew before! loool)
Me: Uh...**My name**
Hottie: Cool..**His name**
Hottie: SO you're like really close with **some random girl's name**
Me: blank stare..who?
Boy i dont like anymore: Dont you know**random girl's name** (tries to remind me who she is)
Me: oh! all oh...i dont even talk to her
Hottie: aRe you srious? ah ahn...but i always see you guys together like everywher..
Me: shakes head

the point is he thot i was some other girl!!! we now had to explain to him how i'm not and all. hez now like me and the girl are so idebtical we should be twins!! COincidentally we now run into the girl he sed i look like and I FREAKING DONT!!
This is the most imortant part of the gist:
He now said, But the have similar eys...Really nice eyes...then smiles at me
**bliss** i almost died!!! his smile was wayyy up to his eyes and everything!
now we're kinda acquitances!!!

peace and love guys!!!

Thursday, January 7, 2010 is what it is....

So there’s this boy I kinda liked. For only a little while though. So apparently he really likes me too. Or so he says. Sha when I first gave him my number he used to call me at least twice everyday. (Not that I’m a fan of boys calling me excessively or anything). And then I even used to see him practically everyday. Then as usual, I got bored of him. I wasn’t just excited to talk to him anymore. The ‘like’ had faded. So when he asked me out (rather too soon if I may add) I jus laid it down for him. Told him how I just like him like a friend now. He was sooo not cool with it. I mean obviously I didn’t expect him to be all smiles but I didn’t expect an ‘I think I’m going to kill myself’ or ‘I don’t think I can ever talk to you again’ attitude he put up. Being the indecisive being that I am (I probably got that from my mom), I sha said I would think about it more sha. So we still hung out a lot after that sha.

Then he kinda just started acting somehow. Stopped calling like he used to. Then when he called he would say stuff like “So you can’t check on me shey?” That statement just infuriates me mehn! I just don’t get why people say it. Is it meant to make me other person feel guilty or what? Mscheeww. Then one day he was now like “ So is he just like any other guy to me? That do we have something special?” And I kinda didn’t take him serious and all. Then the next time he called he was like

“So is that how it is? No problem oh. Anyhow sha I don’t think I’m gonna stress myself anymore. I’ve tried naww”

What I just want to know is does that mean he’s moved on? That he’s no longer interested? Cuz me I’m confused oh.
My best friend is like why do I care if I don’t like him? That got me thinking, what do I really want sef?
I know I don’t like him. I know I don’t want to go out with him. I know I’ll be kinda sad if he’s off my case. I know I kinda enjoyed the attention I got from him.I know i enjoy the attention i get from other boys too. I know i'd probably miss him if we dont hang out anymore. I know i'll probly find some other nice dude to hang with.I know i'll feel a sting of jealousy if i see him flirting with some other girl. I know i would want him to see me flirting with another guy. lol Oh well. It is what it is.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

I need A shrink!!!

Laziness and procrastination have taken over life. I barely do anything anymore.
Last night I went to bed with a Snickers wrapper curled between my fingers. My mother would so flip out if she knew I’ve been having chocolate for dinner over the last few days. Though I really don’t see how I’ve lost any weight, my mother’s constantly screaming about how I’m merely skin and bones. Oh well. It’s really not my fault. Proper food like most things these days doesn’t just appeal to me.

I wonder if I’m at that stage of teenage life that parents talk about…you know, when they say things like: “Oh teenagers, they’re at that stage …” whatever. I’m just sick and tired of not being into anything or anyone. Everything is just blah. I just can’t bring myself to care these days. I don’t even kno know who I am anymore. Seriously, if someone asked me what kinda girl I was, I would just answer them with a blank stare. I don’t even know if I’m loud, shy, talkative, quiet, crazy, shallow, kind, fun, confident or insecure. If a person could be all, I think I probably would be.

I wonder why it irritates me when I see girls chatting with boys they barely know or celebs on Facebook or twitter. Every time I see something like that I’m always like “Mscheeww. They’ll be chasing boys up and down.” But really they aren’t chasing boys, they’re jus having normal convos. Maybe flirting a little, but really what’s the big deal?? Its not like I don’t talk to any boys on twitter or fb too. I don’t know why I wont just free these girls. It’s probably because I’m too timid to do it sha. Famz is something that I just cant stand. Even though everybody seems t be doing it now, I just cant! It’s probably why I don’t comment on stuff a lot or RT at people on twitter. **Sigh** I need to change mehn. I really don’t like myself right now. If I was a guy, I sooo wont like me. . Oh well. It is what it is.

I don’t know why I have a problem saying hello to people. I guess it still has to do with this famz issue. I just keep thinking what if he/she just shrugs off my greeting like I didn’t matter. Or he’ll feel important. Or why can’t she say hello first. Whereas, some people have no problem at all in yelling people’s names just to wave at them when they turn around. I probably am just scared of rejection.

That’s probably also why I don’t tag people in notes and pictures and stuff. I’m always like I don’t want him/her to feel like they’re sooo important. And I fear that none of the people I tag would even be interested in what I tag them in or what if they un-tag themselves. I know this may seem like I don’t know my so-called friends well. The thing is I don’t even know if I should call a lot of people my friends. I only have a handful of people I can really and truly call my friends. Another thing is that I think some people I regard as people I just talk to actually regard me as their friends. I don’t even know what friendship is about anymore.

i serzly detest myself of my bestest guy frends just called me nw...havnt spoken to him in lyk a year?? tlk 2 him online nd stuff tho...he sha jus cald me nd i dint hav nefn 2 sae to him!! asin afta all the 'inbox me ur numba fast!' and the 'we're so gonna rock ths hols', he calls me and we hav nothing to say! i cld so break my fone ryt nw!!! argh!!!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Peace, love and male models!

Wow! Twenty-ten is really here. Thanks to God mehn.
Nehoo I’m really excited bout tha nu yr cuz i gt 2 mk resolutions which i dnt fnk i eva hav done b4.

sha b4 i carry on wiv my new year resolutions i jus havta tel u guys hw hot the concert i wnt 4 last monday was! omfg! i neva realised how hot male models wer. esp teenage ones! in the past i always looked at male models as too hot to be straight. buh these ones were on anotha level! the fact that they were about my age and if i had worn anotha dress lyk my sister tld me to, it wld hav bin a diff story!!!

newaiz ive bin fnkn ov wat to write on some tees im gettin done...nw all i cn fnk ov writin is Peace, love and male models! my sister's lyk if i wear that for a class i'm jus on my own. warreva joh. mayb i'll write peace,love and chocolate instead.

k bak to the new year resolutions;

-Imma be more courageous.
-Imma get my famz on mehn! in case y'all havnt noticed, famz is becomin reli random these daes esp on twitter...the funny fng is it doesnt bite them in the ass lyk it shld...instead it gets celebs retweeting at them! mehn errbody is doin it so i cn lyk to mehn. altho considering the level of pride i hav twill probly be very hard..
-Imma be more friendly.
-Imma be real picky bout the ppl i tlk to. not lyk im gonna b a total snob or nefn. im jus nt gonna tlk 2 ppl cuz i dnt wanna hurt their feelings.
-Imma delete all the random ppl on my facebook.
-Imma learn how to party without my frnds.
-Imma study real hard.
-Imma update my Ipod mehn. ah ahn. my songs are soo dryyy these daes. was tryna create a 'songs that'll save ur life playlist' and i realised i dnt hav any!
-Imma try to tolerate my mother's rantings. doesnt mean i'll kiss her ass or agree with err wrong thn she saes(like my sista..hiss)
-Imma try and talk to my father more
-Imaa check on ppl more
-Imma try to stop usin txt language except wen im txtn( thats gonna b real hard!)
-Imma be more confident and not care wat ppl sae.hmmmn.
So help me God!

i probly hav alot mor buh i cant rememba them all nw. that stuff alwaez happens ro me. i blog in my head buh cant rememba wen im actually bloggin!